Losing a good man

Where do I even begin?
Shortly after my last post Pete and I began looking for a domestic agency, we found one and began the paperwork process, which was a million times easier than the international process. During the first week of June we went on a vacation with my family. My mom, brother, sister in law, niece, uncle, aunt and two cousins. I will be FOREVER thankful for this trip. It was fantastic, and we got to spend so much time with our family.  Little did we know only three short weeks later, my uncle would die peacefully but unexpectedly in his sleep. This loss has been devastating on our entire family. My dear uncle Tim was the definition of a good man. He was never married, never had children, so for all of us nieces and nephews it was like we had a bonus dad. On nearly every vacation, every holiday, every childhood event he was there, cooking, making us laugh. One of the firsts to reach out in times of distress, I never once heard him utter an unkind untrue word about anyone. He was rational and loving, sincere and fiercely devoted to his family. It still feels like it can't be true, and despite having meltdowns at least once a day, I'm still able to convince myself he is still here.
Even when we got the news in May that our adoption was going to take so long, he was one of the firsts to make sure I was okay. We had plans. We were going to take care of him if he ever got to old or sick to live alone, and he joked that in our house full of elderly relatives that we have walls built around his bed so he could be alone sometimes. I can't bear the thought that he won't meet our children and they will never have the chance to know the most selfless person I have ever met, that made such a profound impact on the way I view the world. A counselor himself, he was one of my greatest inspirations to become a professional helper. And now he is gone, and I have no idea how our family will manage.  We have, and we will, but his passing has left a hole in all of our hearts.
For several weeks following this news I didn't want to do anything (I still really don't). I quit training for our 5K (it's in one week to raise money for our adoptions), I stopped doing paperwork for the adoption, I went to work, but I can't say I was doing that great at helping my clients.  My friend Annie basically told me to get a move on in regard to getting our home study done, and on auto-pilot, we did.  I'm glad we did.  It's been a welcomed distraction.  And its important to remember that life is full of ups an downs and despite our sorrow, we have to find joy, everyday. Tim would have. 
And so here we are, home study basically approved waiting one final background check, and,as far as I can tell, a completed adoption book, ready to be viewed by birth moms and dads.  One day at a time, together.
So if any of you have a creative way to make "Timothy" into a girls name let me know.  We are thinking of honoring him in the middle name of our child, if its a boy, that's easy, but I'm not so sure Timothia will work. hah. (Though my brother is thinking of doing the same thing so we will see!)
Love and Prayers.  Hold each other tight and value everyday.
Miss you Tim. Everyday.