Orphan Sunday

Today is orphan Sunday, if you happen to find yourself in a church this beautiful fall morning, hopefully you will hear something about it from the altar, or pulpit, or stage depending on your church. I guess the best way to go about this post is to jump right in.
UNICEF reports that around the world there are between 143 million and 210 million orphans.  This does NOT include abandoned children (millions) and sold or trafficked children.  Every single day 5,760 children become orphans.  Every 2.2 seconds a child ages out of the "system" with no family, and no connections.  Studies show that 10-15% of these children commit suicide before they reach the age of 18.  60% of girls that age out become prostitutes, and 70% of the boys become hardened criminals.
I wish I had the ability to break this down by country for you, I wish I could find the words to express the horrible circumstances many of these children live despite the mostly good intentions of the adults that care for them in the orphanages.
So I guess what I'm hoping, my plea for you, my friends, family, strangers, is to look deep into your heart, and find your way of helping these children, these sweet lonely babies.  Maybe you and your spouse are thinking of having children, maybe you already have biological children and you are considering adding to your family, consider adoption.  If you aren't, maybe there are ways you can support these orphans.  There are hundreds of orphan relief programs both domestic and internationally, consider donating, sponsor an orphan, become a foster parent (!!!!!!), offer kind words and support for those in your life that are adopting or have adopted (because it can be hard, and people can say some really terrible hurtful things). Hold your children tonight and remind them how much you love them, and always remember, there but for the grace of God go I. We are the lucky ones, I hope we never forget that.
If you want any information on how to adopt, donate or become foster parents leave your information or contact me and I will send you in the right direction!

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress" - James 1:27

Photo Day Fundraiser

Today was our photo day fundraiser.  I'm shocked that I even have the energy to write about it, but it was such a great day I couldn't wait! First of all, my friend Annie planned and organized the entire day, two photographers, half hour sessions, from 12-6.  I spent most of the day at the entrance to the park where we had it with my other friend Bethany that designed an amazing flyer.  We would direct people to the right place when they pulled in.  Some other friends that I haven't seen in years planned their child's birthday party in the same park at the same time, so I got to go visit some great people I don't see very often, which always warms my heart.  Friends, family and strangers came to get photos taken, and though I didn't get to talk to many people for very long, just knowing they were supporting us was amazing.  Plus they get some pretty great photos by some really talented women!  Here are some less than professional photos I took with two amazing ladies. 
First, this is the view from the back of the car, where we sat for six hours, not to shabby

Here are two of the most beautiful girls, inside and out

Aren't they great?!  Here are a few of me with them.

One more, the cookies another pretty great lady Heidi made for us to sell :

Unfortunately Pete had to work a double today so he couldn't come and enjoy the day with us, but if we do this again we will make sure he gets off!

Weight wait weight wait weight

As I have mentioned, I met Pete in 2005. I was something around 140 pounds, average weight, and thought I was overweight (that girl annoys me). For a lot of reasons over the years I have slowly gained weight,  a significant amount that I refuse to post on the Internet because I'm vain.  I fell in love, got comfortable, started a job that required me to sit for six to eight consecutive hours a day that also provides a great deal of stress at times. I will be the first person to tell you, I'm an emotional eater. My family are emotional eaters. We love food, our times together almost always involve food. Delicious, fatty, terrible for you food. That being said since starting this adoption process I've gained as much weight as I had the near three years following our wedding. Uh oh. This realization was being pushed to the back of my mind as it was happening because I had stuff to do. I am trying to get our baby home, I don't have time to worry about dinner and if it's healthy or not! Oh yeah, I also quit smoking. A month ago. Weight. 

So here I am. Fully aware of the situation, recognizing what got me here, knowing those reasons aren't going anywhere anytime soon, and trying to figure out just how I'm going to undo this weight from the past seven years while I wait. 

My relationship with food is much like my relationship with cigarettes, an abusive one that I'm so infatuated with I'm scared to leave. Non-smokers will  never understand this. Most smokers I know probably won't either. I LOVE to smoke.  I started when I was 14 and hid it from nearly everyone until well into college. It was my secret, and it comforted me when little else could. A bitter sweet breakup, but it would have killed me.

So here I am, the damage of my love affair with terrible food and unhealthy living more visibly evident to those around me than the cigarettes, but just as emotional a relationship. I want to change it. I want to take care of myself. I want to be prepared to teach our children by example what a gift we have in our health and physical ability. To be honest I'm not sure where I'm going to begin because I've said this before and it hasn't worked, this time it feels different because this time I really want to. So while Pete and I wait for our children I'm going to work on my weight. As we enjoy this time as a married couple without children I'm going to teach myself a little more discipline.

Peace comes with the mourning

"The lord has turned our sunsets into sunrise". St. Clement of Alexandria

I haven't updated recently but a lot has been going on. We've been working on collecting documents, education, home study info so on and so forth. My in-laws have been coming over these past few weeks and started helping us with the yard, and man do we need it! I don't know what it is but I am terrible at yard work. Pete's parents are both great at it, and it shows.They cut down a tree, planted flowers and added some great bushes in the front yard.  They are great, we would never have done this ourselves, we really didn't even know where to begin.  We had to put like 15 garbage bags full of yard waste out for the trash collectors, I felt really bad for them.  I got some poison Ivy from my yard contribution, and I'm pretty sure I may never pull a weed again in my life.
These are the garbage bags lined up, full of poison ivy I'm sure!

 These are some of the flowers my MIL planted.  She has a green thumb.  I hope I don't kill these.

 These are the holly bushes and rose bushes they planted in the front yard.  One day we hope to have window boxes on these windows.

Since my last post, over a month ago, we went to the local Ethiopian restaurant with some of our friends, and it was delicious!  I even ate some raw meat, for the first and last time! I'll post photos of that soon.  If you just can't wait, my great and amazing friend Annie wrote a blog about it here.  She is much better about keeping up with her blog!

We also had our first official fundraiser, a yard sale.  It went great and we had the help of so many great people, so many donations, and beautiful weather.  I'll also share photos of that, but we have another yard sale tomorrow, I'm waiting to get some photos of that to combine them.  

Hopefully I'll post before another month passes again!

My best friend

I met my husband Pete in 2005 through mutual friends, and I was immediately smitten. It wasn't long until we were spending most of our free time together, I fell in love.  He is fun, charming, handsome, and hilarious.  No one can make me laugh quite like he can.  The one thing during our dating relationship that I struggled with is now one of the things that I love most about him.  Pete is spontaneous where it matters, but will not make a resolute decision on big decisions until he is 100% certain its right.  So it was with getting married.  I was ready way before Pete was, and looking back I'm so glad we waited until he was certain.  I know that because of that our marriage is stronger, and I never have to doubt that Pete was ready.  Likewise with this decision to adopt.  While we came to this decision at the same pace, It was Pete that really solidified what was in my heart.  I, being more emotional than Pete, was going back on forth on domestic and international adoption, what agencies, etc.  One night while looking at lists of waiting children, Pete said "I think its Africa, let's do Africa."  That was all I needed.  If he was certain, then I could rest peacefully knowing it was the right choice.  We slowly began looking at different countries and eventually settled on Ethiopia. 
Once in a while I have a bad day and I wonder how we are going to do this, and how we are going to make it through, it seems in those moments Pete always come through for me.  Hugging me, telling me he has no doubts and no regrets.  He is my rock. He is my best friend.

Blessings

I know in my last post I talked about how calm I felt about the whole financial situation. Let's just say that soon wore off!  Later that night I was growing more and more anxious thinking about how in the world we were going to do it.  We went to my parent's house that night to get our contracts notarized and my parents gave a us a nice big chunk of what we need for this initial payment.  They are just amazing.  Other donations started so roll in (thanks in large part to my amazing friend annie, who quickly got the word out about our need), and my anxiety soon gave way to a swelling in my heart.  So many amazing people in our lives that show their love without batting an eye.  I don't know how we got so lucky.  We may not ever be able to pay this kindness back, but I promise to give back to this world, more than it has given me.  We still have a long way to go to meet our goal, but we are getting there, and in the depths of my heart I know we will achieve it.
I also hope I'm half the parent my parents have been to me.  They really are the kindest most generous people I have ever met. 

So absurd it's funny, I think...

We are still very excited about being accepted into the Ethiopia program.  Going through all the paperwork with Pete and seeing his expression when we talk about our child melts my heart every single time.  Today we had our "conference call" to review the contract paperwork.  I guess I didn't realize how fast this would all start to happen, because it turns out we need about six thousand more dollars than we currently have saved in order to get a 2,000 dollar Father's day discount... by next week.  HAH!  When we realized this last night we just sort of looked at each other and laughed, because at least in our world, its not like we have $6,000 tucked away in a coffee container in the freezer or something.  I'm surprisingly calm about the whole thing.  Not because I'm confident Pete will get a $5,000 tip tomorrow, though that would be AMAZING, but I guess its so absurd, it is far beyond my control.
The entire adoption is going to cost us about $30,000.  Which we have always known, but I think for some reason I imagined we would have months and months to fund raise, nope! It is apparently half within the first six months and half the second six months (that is if it all happens within a year, very unlikely).  So here we go, we are off and running, appealing to the people in our life to help us.  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that our "Yes" was going to require the yes of so many others too.  It's humbling.
I believe that it will happen, I believe that God will provide because he is the one that lead us down this path.  He funds what he favors.
My next step is applying for every single grant we meet the criteria for.  Pray for us.

Approved!!!!

After what seemed to be an almost hilarious amount of obstacles we finally had everything we needed. Faxed in the final letter (yesterday) just under the wire for the meetings today. We are approved for the Ethiopia program at our agency! When I got home from work I had a terrible headache (probably stress) and sat on the couch staring at my phone. Our contact person called and I almost dropped my phone! We should be under contract by the end of the month, that is if it goes smoother than the initial application, hah. I'm already humbled by the kindness of people in our lives. This is the first step on a long journey of paperwork, fundraising, home study, waiting, paperwork,fundraising, traveling to our child (!), fundraising, court, embassy, paperwork, then finally home!!!! Now we prepare ourselves, our hearts, and our home for our baby! If I'm this excited about our approval phone call I can't imagine how I'll feel when we open that e-mail with the child we are matched with. And then to hold them in my arms. Needless to say I'm very excited. Let the work begin to bring home our baby!  

Adoption Creed  

Not flesh of my flesh 

nor bone of my bone, 

but still miraculously my own. 

Never forget 

for a single minute, 

you didn't grow under my heart, 

but in it.

Waiting commence

We are officially waiting for our final approval from our adoption agency to be accepted.  I have to confess I was dragging my feet, for a long time.  Waiting on one letter to be sent, but then, (prayers) the first of many Yes's!  I was thinking about it today, why I have been waiting to get this all together, and I think I was scared, scared that this wasn't the path to our family, wondering what if this was the wrong agency.  Today after looking at even more agencies online I finally realized I just needed to take the plunge or else it would never happen!
I agonized over every detail of our application, for weeks, which photo to send of us? I calculated our assets about 100 different times. I made sure every word was spelled correctly at least ten times.  obsessive I know.  I'm so scared to give the future of our family to people I don't know.  They can say no. And we have to start over.  Granted we are so early in the process better it happen now, than later.
Here is the photo I decided on:

It's from a haunted hayride/bog we go to every year with great friends.  It's not the most flattering picture of me, but we are both smiling, which is rare.  Usually one of us is smiling nice and the other is making some ridiculous face.  Like this:

I'm pretty sure we would have been denied immediately if I sent this photo. haha! this was another Halloween photo where we went as "mostly sunny" and "partly cloudy".  Can you tell which is which? 
Anyway, I'm excited, scared, nervous.  Ready for our babies!

Mother's Day
I've been planning starting this blog for quite some time, and Mother's day feels like the perfect time to do this.  I woke up this morning not expecting to feel such a rush of emotions, but it happened, despite my efforts to avoid it.  Ever since I was a little girl I longed to be a Mother.  My mom kept these little books about us growing up, and each year there was a place to write what we wanted to be when we grew up, every year it would change, a nurse, an artist, a teacher but one thing remained consistent, I wanted to be a mommy.  I figured I would get married and start having kids right away, I never anticipated the struggles my husband and I would face with this.  That happens to other people, not to me.  Let me state from the very beginning, we still can have biological children, at least that's what we are told, its just not happened that way.  My husband and I planned from the moment we started talking about marriage to adopt, at some point, down the road, but it turns out God has a different plan and adoption has become plan A.  We are in the very early stages of adopting from Ethiopia!  Getting to this point has been a struggle in many ways, and I'm sure I'll talk about that more down the road, but for today, I want to talk about being a mom.
It's quite possible our child or children are alive and waiting for us.  This is exhilarating! I want to meet them, I want to hold them, I want to know their names, but this is a ways off for us. Today I'm thinking about their bio mom's and the tough choices they had or still have to make. I'm praying for them.  I feel sadness for them.  I'm inspired by their strength, though i have never met them and I likely never will.  I hope they feel my prayers and know that i will be forever grateful for the gift of life they are giving my husband and I. 
I read a blog today that questioned when a woman becomes a Mother, at conception, at birth, when you see your child, when you know they exist?  And the girl said something that I will carry with me as we start on this long journey, "you become a mother the moment you decide to become a Mother."  So I'm celebrating today, at least in my head, knowing I'm going to be a Mom, one way or another and that's all I've ever really wanted. 
I am blessed to have had an amazing Mother, which is probably why this desire for Motherhood was planted at such an early age.  My mom and dad sacrificed a lot, so that my mom could stay home with us.  My earliest memories are of her and I playing with my kitchen, and she would patiently wait as I cleaned and re-cleaned my kitchen and prepared delicious plastic meals for her to enthusiastically enjoy.  This takes so much patience!  She was constantly supportive, always loving, and patiently allowed me to figure things out for myself, always encouraging me to be who I was created to be, gently guiding me to make good choices.  And when I didn't make such good choices, she and my dad would talk me through it, never scolding me, but always helping me figure out where exactly I got off track.  I really am blessed.
So today, I'm thinking about the Mom's, the mom's to be, those patiently or impatiently waiting to adopt, the bio moms, the mom's that try every day to make sure their children are safe and happy.  I'm excited for our future and I'm embracing our journey!  I can't wait to hold my children in my arms and tell them how loved they are and how much I have longed for them.